|FITTING IN IS OVERRATED: The Survival Guide for Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Like an Outsider|
|Many creative, caring, and intelligent people know what it feels like to be an outsider, to be different, or to be outnumbered by people who don't envision what you envision.
To see just how much you have the eyes, ears, heart, and soul of an "Insightful Outsider," please take a moment and decide which of the following sound like you (or someone you care about who is also unlike the majority):
1) Do you have a rare personal quality, a passionate interest, or a creative way of seeing things that certain insiders would judge "different" or "unusual" since it falls outside the narrow range of what they know?
2) Do you sometimes get in hot water because your honesty, your insights, or your outsider's perspective are threatening to certain people who aren't ready to hear the truth?
3) Are you often able to connect with a unique individual whom others don't seem to understand or appreciate?
4) Are you more open than most people to exploring new ideas or trying out solutions that others are afraid are too risky?
5) At work or at family gatherings, do you find that you're reluctant to partake in the pettiness, competitiveness, or mean-spirited comments that others engage in and that this keeps you from fitting in?
6) Do you look around and wonder how certain people know so easily how to be accepted, almost as if they got the instruction book that you never received?
7) Have you ever sensed that your ideas or suggestions are exactly what a particular group needs, but that something about your way of presenting these ideas (or your lack of powerful allies) is causing people to tune you out?
8) As a child, did you ever feel invisible or overlooked in your family or at school because someone else had a dramatic way of grabbing the attention or approval that rarely seemed to come your way?
9) Was there something about your family--perhaps its awkwardness or financial struggles--that caused you to feel "one down" from peers who had more status, clout, or sense of entitlement?
10) Is there something about your appearance, your weight, your way of speaking, or your physical vulnerabilities that sets you apart from others?
11) When spending time with your spouse's or partner's family, or at his or her work gatherings, have you ever been treated coldly or felt you simply didn't fit in?
12) Have you sometimes been the "token"--the outnumbered member of your race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or political leanings--in situations where people said condescending or hurtful things that made it clear you weren't fully accepted?
13) Have you sometimes felt nervous when it's time to sit down for a meal--say, in a school cafeteria or at a dinner party--because you sense it's going to be difficult to find someone to sit with or connect with?
14) In your family of origin, were you the rebel, the one who refused to follow the restrictive life plan that others had set for you?
15) Were you the most honest, sensitive, or aware person in your family of origin or at your workplace, and did you feel that others would rather criticize you than look at their own shortcomings?
If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, welcome to the club! By identifying the painful moments you have experienced as an outsider, you are taking a necessary first step toward healing. You are beginning the process of learning more about the traits that previously may have caused you to run away from yourself or shut down emotionally.
Many people are afraid to admit they have been feeling like outsiders, as if it will destroy their chances forever to be successful at work, in social situations, or in family power struggles.
But what if the thing that makes you unlike the majority is actually a strength, a gift, or a source of wisdom that can be turned into an enormous blessing for yourself and others?
What if the personal quality you've been insecure about is truly something positive (even if it has been criticized by certain insiders who were too uncomfortable or judgmental to appreciate this aspect of who you are).
What if your greatest breakthroughs in life depend on your coming to terms with the very issue that has made you feel shunned?
There are 10 chapters in the highly-acclaimed new book FITTING IN IS OVERRATED: The Survival Guide for Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Like an Outsider, written by bestselling author and award-winning psychologist Leonard Felder, PhD.
These chapters are:
1) When Do You Feel Like an Outsider?
2) Why It's So Uncomfortable to Stand Apart
3) The Benefits of Being Positively Different
4) The Biggest Mistakes Most Outsiders Make
5) Breaking Through at Work
6) Coping with Cliques and Closed-Minded Groups
7) Finding Peace with Your Family
8) When People Aren't Ready Yet for Your Ideas
9) How to Be an Effective Mentor, Ally, or Source of Strength for Other Outsiders
10) Making Your Circle the One People Want to Be In
If you want to order a copy of FITTING IN IS OVERRATED as a gift to yourself or for someone you care about deeply, you can ask for it at your local bookstore or order it immediately from Barnes and Noble on-line (click onto bn.com and go to the author Leonard Felder or the book title Fitting In Is Overrated) or on amazon.com (by clicking on the author Leonard Felder or the book title Fitting In Is Overrated).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Leonard Felder is a licensed psychologist who has written 11 books that have sold over 1 million copies and were translated into 14 languages. He's appeared on over 200 radio and television programs, including Oprah, NBC's The Today Show, CBS The Early Show, CNN, NPR, Canada AM, BBC London, and ABC Australia.
FIND OUT WHY SO MANY DIVERSE PEOPLE ARE MOVED AND INSPIRED BY THIS NEW BOOK:
"An extremely honest and timely book about the lifelong challenge of appreciating who we truly are. With great insight and warmth, Dr. Felder offers several ways of embracing our own uniqueness, hidden gifts, and special talents. I highly recommend it."
AWARD-WINNING PRODUCER AND WRITER, NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO
"I'm very inspired by this book, especially the personal stories. It's helped give me a new sense of appreciation of my own perceived 'outsiderness' and how the pain of not always fitting in has possibly benefited me in my chosen career. This is an important, enjoyable-to-read book, and I'm eager to share it with friends and colleagues who also take risks to live authentically."
--CATHERINE E. COULSON,
ACTRESS, THE OREGON SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL AND 'TWIN PEAKS' (THE LOG LADY)
"This book is a must-have survival guide for anyone who stands out in a crowd. And let's face it--we've all felt that way at one time or another. I personally plan on using Dr. Felder's excellent coping strategies next time I'm at my in-laws."
--MEG CABOT, AUTHOR OF 'THE PRINCESS DIARIES' AND THE 'QUEEN OF BABBLE' SERIES
"Fitting In Is Overrated provides that rare combination: a wise book that is also compulsively readable. I found it hard to put down precisely because, again and again, I came to insights that seem so right, so necessary, and yet are rarely if ever voiced. It offers new creative ways of thinking and highly liberating ways of being. Dr. Felder's achievement is truly significant."
--DAVID H. LYNN, PH.D.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF, THE KENYON REVIEW
"Inspiring and practical! Anyone in need of positive and effective ways to navigate power dynamics in work, family, or social relationships should read Dr. Felder's book. Especially helpful for parents, teachers, counselors, and friends witnessing the pain of a quality person who has been left out and who will find all the tools they need in this book."
--LECIA J. BROOKS,
DIRECTOR OF DIVERSITY EDUCATION PROGRAMS, SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER, MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA
"This excellent book focuses on issues that no one else has explored. It will be extremely healing for anyone who struggles with an outsider's pain, because Dr. Felder emphasizes the benefits of standing out, being positively different, and learning how to be proud of your individuality!"
ART THERAPIST AND AUTHOR OF 'THE MEZUZAH IN THE MADONNA'S FOOT
"A wonderful book! I loved reading Dr. Felder's sage insights because they give comfort, hope, and practical tools to all of us who have ever felt like we don't fit in. He shows precisely how an outsider can feel strong and proud of who we are."
--RACHEL BALLON, PH.D.
FILM AND TELEVISION CONSULTANT, AUTHOR OF 'THE WRITER'S PORTABLE THERAPIST'
"This is an important book that speaks directly to a growing number of parents and families on how to bring forth the hidden potential in every person. Dr. Felder is a weaver of inspiring stories that call us to look at our own lives and the lives of others in a fresh and loving way."
--MICHAEL RESNICK, PH.D.
AWARD-WINNING RESEARCHER ON HUMAN RESILIENCE FACTORS, THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA
"At last. A book that speaks with understanding and insight to all of us who see and feel what others miss. Rich with compelling stories and helpful guidance, Dr. Felder gives us a brilliant resource book and at the same time a great read!"
--LINDA SEGER, TH.D.
AUTHOR OF 9 BOOKS ON CREATIVITY AND FEMINISM, INCLUDING 'WEB THINKING: CONNECTING NOT COMPETING FOR SUCCESS'
FITTING IN IS OVERRATED is the perfect gift for your son, daughter, grandchild, niece, nephew, friend, colleague, student, or employee...or for yourself.
It's both inspiring and practical.
The world needs to listen to the insights of the outsider. But first the outsiders need to learn the skills for surviving and thriving, that can be found in Dr. Felder's new book.
TO ORDER ONE OR MORE COPIES AT EXCELLENT PRICES, ASK FOR 'FITTING IN IS OVERRATED' AT YOUR LOCAL BOOKSTORE OR PURCHASE A COPY IMMEDIATELY AT BN.com or Amazon.com.
|Where to find this inspiring new book (CLICK EITHER SITE HERE):|
|For much less than the price of a therapy session, this new book can help you or someone you care about.|
|Name:||Ask for "FITTING IN IS OVERRATED" wherever books are sold or online at bn.com or amazon.com|